


Buried Childish Qualities

by Scorpion_Queen



Series: A Hole in the Earth [1]
Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Rachel Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:47:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27196012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scorpion_Queen/pseuds/Scorpion_Queen
Summary: Chloe's summer is off to a rocky start. Her mom shipped her off to summer camp, she hasn't spoken to her best friend in years, and her ex won't leave her alone. When the most popular girl in school gets assigned to her cabin, Chloe thinks it's just the latest addition to her string of bad luck, but there might be more to Rachel than meets the eye.
Relationships: Rachel Amber/Chloe Price
Series: A Hole in the Earth [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985317
Comments: 37
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

Chloe woke up to the sound of rain beating on metal. It was nearly black outside the bus windows; dark enough that when she tried to make out where they were, all she saw was her face reflected by the exit light. The bus jolted forward hard and then came to an abrupt stop.

“Welcome to Camp Cascade,” the driver's voice crackled through the intercom. There was a collective groan as the speakers shrieked with feedback. “Don’t forget to pick up all your trash when you leave. I’m looking at you, Colin.”

Chloe grabbed her bag and held it against her chest like a shield as she shuffled up the aisle. Victoria Chase--whose only remarkable features were her long legs and legendary temper--cut in front of her, dragging several overstuffed luggage bags. The camp director was waiting outside under an umbrella, waving everyone into a building with cedar shake siding and a tin roof.

“My name is Ms. Perry, it’s nice to meet all of you. This is the lodge,” the director told them as they filed in. “It will be your mess hall, game room, and gathering place. This is the heart of the camp.” She sounded like a proud mother bragging about a child. “You might be homesick at first but I hope you all learn to love it as much as I do.”

Chloe didn’t care how old and grand the camp was--she didn’t want to be there. She had fought her mom for a week, yelling until her throat was raw and her words stopped making sense, but she was packed up and pushed onto the bus anyway. Joyce had told her it was because she needed to go somewhere other than the skate park this summer, but she knew that it had more to do with her mom’s new boyfriend, David.

The main room had a cathedral ceiling and was made entirely of wood. There were a dozen tables with benches that looked older than the building itself and a massive stone hearth that took up a third of the back wall. It smelled strongly of Pinesol and wood-smoke and more faintly of thyme and cooking meat.

“It’s tacky,” Victoria said once the director was out of earshot. She quite literally turned up her nose as she dropped all her bags on the floor for someone else to deal with.

“No way, Vicky, this place is hella nice.” Rachel Amber--Arcadia Bay’s golden girl, and maybe the most beautiful person Chloe had ever seen in real life--walked in dragging a sopping wet and sour-faced Dana Ward behind her. “I look forward to being ax-murdered here.”

Chloe ducked her head and studied her shoes. Rachel was the sort of girl she couldn’t afford getting caught staring at, but it was also hard not to stare.

“Stop! I’m going to have nightmares all summer.” Dana groaned, wringing out her jacket sleeves. “I hear the cabins are infested with jumping spiders.”

“Forget spiders and murderers,” Victoria said, “you should be more worried about what the hard water is going to do to your hair. Or what I’m going to do to you if you ever call me _Vicky_ again.”

Chloe slipped past them, avoiding eye contact. Everyone at Blackwell was careful around Victoria. She was easy to wind up, and although getting her red-faced and spitting vitriol was satisfying, it wasn’t worth the consequences.

Dinner was fast and uncomplicated: stew and rolls that were too hard to pass as edible. Chloe sat with Alyssa, Kate, Warren, and Stella at a table that nobody else seemed to see. Blackwell’s misfit kids always managed to settle somewhere together. 

Chloe sat at the far end of the table and listened to their conversation while pushing her spoon around in her bowl. Warren was talking about some robot movie he’d seen with Stella last week. He was a nice enough guy, but the intensity with which he ranted about the most boring shit set Chloe’s teeth on edge. She wished that Trevor and Justin were here. They were the closest thing she had to friends lately.

A counselor with ash-brown hair and a badge that said _Becky_ walked to the center of the room and got everyone’s attention by blowing a bright red lifeguard whistle.

“Welcome to Camp Cascade, everyone.” Her voice had a strong valley girl lilt that Chloe knew everyone would be imitating by tomorrow. “I’m going to separate you by cabin now, okay?” Nobody said anything. “Okay, cool. Jessica Aaron? Hi girl! You’re in Elm.”

It was a long process. Becky tripped over names and stopped every few minutes to hush the boys who were hooting and cat-calling her incessantly. Chloe was completely zoned out by the time her name was called.

“Chloe Price, you’re in goldenrod.”

There was a brief silence after her name was called and Chloe could feel the target on her back before she even heard Victoria’s snide voice.

“Thank god the lesbo isn’t in _my_ cabin.”

The rest of Victoria’s table—all Vortex club members, all idiots—tittered at this. 

“Make sure you lock the shower door just in case.” Nathan Prescott, a boy with too much money and too few people telling him “no”. Chloe had heard people describe him as handsome but he had a face that she could only ever see as punchable. How he’d managed to date both Victoria and Rachel in succession was Blackwell’s greatest mystery.

It did give Chloe an idea, though.

Chloe turned to look Victoria in the eye. Like a bird of prey or a rabid dog, Victoria always took that as a challenge. She straightened in her seat and smirked as if she were excited to see what Chloe would counter with.

“Not interested, Vicky. If I wanted Prescott’s sloppy seconds, I’d pick the hot one.” Chloe smiled viciously.

There was a stunned silence, and then the Vortex table dissolved into a mess of poorly concealed laughter. Victoria was seething, her jaw clenched fast in a sneer. Everyone, even nobodies like Chloe, knew about her rivalry with Rachel.

Shortly after transferring to Blackwell, Rachel took Victoria’s place as the drama department's darling, was voted president of the Vortex club, and had Nathan wrapped around her finger—only to unceremoniously dump him weeks later. She had a habit of effortlessly getting, and tossing aside, everything Victoria so openly wanted.

Chloe risked a glance at Rachel to find that she was staring straight at her, mouth quirked into an almost smile. At least she didn’t look upset. Pissing off Victoria was stupid but in a predictable way. She had no idea what Rachel’s anger might feel like. For all their close brushes—glimpses of Rachel picking up from Frank or in the halls--they had never spoken.

After all the cabins were assigned, they were instructed to get into their groups and gather under one of the little laminated signs hanging along the walls. Chloe leaned against the wall under “Goldenrod” and waited. Eventually, Courtney (the more tolerable of Victoria’s two favorite lackeys), Stella, and Alyssa, joined her. Maybe they planned it this way, all the extras in one cabin. They stood in increasingly uncomfortable silence waiting for their fifth to arrive.

Chloe hadn’t been paying much attention when the cabins were assigned; if she had, then she might not have experienced such an unpleasant jolt when she realized Rachel was walking their way. 

“Hey ladies,” Rachel said, mimicking Becky’s perky intonation with impressive accuracy, “can’t wait to bond with all of you!”

“Oh my god, I was thinking the same thing!” Courtney said cheerfully, apparently not catching the joke.

“Just so everyone knows, boys are not allowed in the cabins after dark, and I have no problem going to Ms. Perry if one happens to show up,” Stella said, arms crossed defiantly.

Rachel caught Chloe’s eye and grinned.

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

***

Goldenrod was just north of the mess hall, along with a dozen other cabins lining the dirt road. The road looped around a grove of trees containing the bathrooms and counselor cabins. Every 20 feet or so there was a tall wood post with a dim pink floodlight. Roughly half of them were flickering and several were burnt out altogether, leaving long dark swaths of road. In the middle of one of those swaths was Goldenrod.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Courtney groaned, and it was easy to see why. It looked like someone had driven into the cabin with a snowplow.

The tin roof was warped and dented, and one of the front windows was covered by a sheet of plywood. A huge rotting tree branch jutted out from between Goldenrod and the neighboring cabin. Chloe assumed it was the culprit.

“Oh good! You guys got the hovel. Price will feel right at home then,” Victoria snipped as she passed by with her group of girls. They were already doting on her and heeling when she stopped, like good little pets.

Chloe ignored her and walked up the rickety front steps. The creak they let out didn’t bode well for her half-baked plan to sneak out at midnight and leg it to the nearest bus station.

There was a set of bunk beds on either side of the room followed by a lone single bed. In the center there was a woven rug, a low wood table painted a rather retro shade of green, and an assortment of mismatched wood and rattan chairs all with cushions the same color as the table. The windows between the bunks were warped and framed by dusty curtains. The back wall was dominated by a long low bookshelf with a dozen ancient board games and a slightly less ancient stereo.

Rachel immediately started poking through the CDs while everyone else squabbled over beds. Chloe looked at them over her shoulder. Diana Ross, Bonnie Tyler, Dolly Parton, Joni Mitchell. Things hadn’t been updated in a while. She chose one that Chloe couldn’t quite make out and blew the dust off of the CD slot before popping it in.

Macy Gray’s raspy voice filled the room and Rachel swayed along to it. Chloe didn’t want to get caught staring, but it was impossible to look away. She told herself it was purely anthropological, a rare opportunity to observe certified Blackwell royalty acting like a regular girl. Weak reasoning, given that she didn’t care about Blackwell in general, but it was easier to swallow than the real reason she was so unwilling to take her eyes off Rachel.

Watching Rachel dance made her stomach bunch up in a confusing knot that she didn’t even want to try to detangle. Victoria’s taunts still lingered in the back of her head, and she didn’t want them to be true. Just the thought of Victoria’s smug face if her theory were proven true… Chloe couldn’t stand it.

All she knew for sure was that her skin felt like it was dusted with gunpowder and she suspected that if Rachel were to touch her, she might combust. She pretended to browse the bookshelf, trying to balance herself somewhere between the stab of adrenaline she got from the glimpses of Rachel’s skin and the wash of guilt that followed.

“Guys?” Stella stared them down, raising her eyebrows impatiently.

Rachel turned down the music.

“Where are you sleeping?” Stella asked.

“I need a bottom bunk,” Chloe said, gesturing lamely to her legs, “the top bunks look at least 4 inches shorter. My legs won’t fi—”

“Yeah, well, I sleepwalk so I can’t be on the top bunk unless you want me to fall,” Alyssa said, already setting her clothes out on the bottom bunk of the bed across the room.

“Honestly, I don’t care,” Rachel said moving over to the bunk across from Alyssa. “Top bunk gives me an advantage if someone breaks in to kill us in our sleep. Chloe, do you want to share?”

Her name sounded so natural in Rachel’s mouth, like they had been friends for years.

“Uh, sure.”

Rachel climbed up the ladder and flung the sheets back, freeing them of their neat hospital corners.

“Everyone should probably check for spiders,” she said before shaking the pillow out of the case.

Courtney’s eyes went wide and she jumped up off her bed. “Wait, really?”

“We’re in the woods, Courtney,” Rachel said in a soothing voice, “that’s their home turf.”

“Are they poisonous?” Courtney asked, sounding more distressed.

“No way, totally harmless,” Rachel replied. “You just go bald if they bite you.”

Courtney ripped her pillow out of its case and Chloe had to stifle a laugh when a ball of lint rolled out, sending Courtney into hysterics.

***

The next morning, Chloe woke up before the sun. Arming herself with her shower supplies and one of her precious few cigarettes, she crept out as quietly as she could. The camp looked sunken and blue in the low light, every cabin like a dollhouse dropped to the bottom of a murky swimming pool. The streetlamps cast dim spheres of light, already failing to compete with the dawn. Chloe liked catching them switching off for the day; it seemed like good luck.

The bathroom’s fluorescent lights flickered with moths that slammed into them relentlessly. The walls and ceiling were whitewashed, an attempt to look quaint and homey that only succeeded in highlighting the dozens of jumping spiders. Chloe wasn’t particularly afraid of spiders, but it was still unsettling to feel 800 pin-prick eyes follow her into the shower stall.

Chloe pulled the curtain closed and hoisted herself onto the small wooden ledge inside. She cranked open the tiny rectangular window near the ceiling and lit a cigarette. The pamphlet had been clear about the camp’s drug and tobacco policy. Anyone caught with cigarettes would earn a strike, and they only gave you two strikes. That threat wasn’t enough to deter Chloe from sneaking a few packs in. At least if they sent her home, she could spend the summer the way she wanted—alone and stoned out of her mind.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and her hand flew to it immediately. It was a reflex, leftover from when Max wasn’t icing her out.

_I had a dream about you last night ;)_

Fucking Eliot. A wave of nausea hit her along with the unwelcome thoughts his name conjured up. The floral couch in his basement. The stolen bottle of Gordon’s. Him panting over her with his sweaty stomach sealing itself against hers. She knew it wasn’t fair; he had no way of knowing how much that night repulsed her, but after a month of unanswered messages, he should have been getting the hint.

She snapped the phone closed and stubbed out her cigarette on the windowsill.

The shower handle was rusted and required two hands to turn. The pipes groaned and creaked for a moment before the water came hissing and spitting out of the showerhead. She undressed, throwing her clothes in a heap on the bench, and stepped under the stream. The water pressure was terrible but the heat helped loosen the stress binding her shoulders.

She was just pulling her jeans back on when she heard the steps squeak outside and then the door opening. Bright, excited girl voices bounced off the rafters and made Chloe bristle.

“Okay, so you just have to tell me everything that went down in Goldenrod!” Victoria’s voice was instantly recognizable. It had a distinctively snobbish, upturned quality to it.

“Uh, nothing happened.” That was definitely Rachel. “Courtney nearly pissed herself over a lint ball.”

“Stop!” Courtney whined. “I thought it was one of those spiders that make you bald!”

“What the hell are you even talking about?” A fourth voice, maybe Taylor.

Chloe didn’t want to leave while they were all out there so she’d have to time her exit for when they were in the showers. It would be a bonus to hear Courtney’s reaction when she finally noticed the jumping spiders covering the bathroom.

“What about Price?” Victoria prodded. “Did she do anything gross? Make a move on you?”

“Mhm, totally. Stole the underwear straight off my ass.”

“Ew, stop!” Courtney squeaked. “She was, like, _drooling_ over you while you were dancing.”

“Really?” Rachel sounded like she didn’t believe it.

Chloe felt like she might faint.

“Yeah. It was, like, _way_ gross.”

“You should ask for a transfer,” Victoria said. “Seriously, what if she tries to like, touch you in your sleep, or collect a lock of your hair?”

“I wouldn’t blame her,” Rachel’s voice moved further away, toward the open stalls. “I’m adorable when I sleep, and have you seen how shiny my hair is?”

Chloe waited for the sound of the girls’ showers to start running before pulling back the curtain and darting out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Chloe skipped breakfast--not wanting to risk running into Rachel or Victoria again--and lingered around the cabins until the mess hall let out.

Her first class was art. The studio was an old converted greenhouse with at least a dozen handmade wind chimes hanging from the porch. She was ushered inside by a woman wearing a long paisley skirt and turquoise rings on every knobby finger. The greenhouse was warm and smelled like damp earth.

Chloe chose a seat at the back of the room. She wanted to be near an open window for the breeze and the escape route.

The woman, who just went by Magda, was setting up a display of bottles and boxes for them to draw when Rachel walked in. Magda tsked at her and pointed to her watch but otherwise said nothing about her being ten minutes late.

Rachel stood in the center of the room for a moment, looking around at the dozens of empty chairs. It had to be nice to have that many options, to have twelve of her peers all smiling at her in hopes that she might choose to sit next to them. Apparently, Rachel took that privilege for granted because she walked straight to the back of the room and sat next to Chloe.

Magda launched into demonstrating her process. Chloe—having taken a half-dozen Blackwell art classes over the last three years—zoned out and began doodling in the margins of her sketchbook. She needed to concentrate on something other than Rachel, who was sitting so close she could feel the heat from her skin. 

Rachel tapped the edge of her shoe against Chloe’s boot. Chloe moved her foot away and kept at her doodle: a little classroom full of squirrels in the corner of the page. Rachel’s elbow found its way into Chloe’s ribs.

“Ow!” Chloe finally looked up to glower at her. “What the hell?”

Rachel squinted her eyes and frowned, mimicking the look.

“I missed you at breakfast,” Rachel said. “Were you hiding?”

Rachel Amber missed her. It was absurd; Chloe almost laughed.

“I wasn’t hungry.” Chloe shrugged and looked down at her blank sketchbook.

Rachel reached into her bag and pulled out a squished sandwich, the bread stained purple with jam. She pushed it into Chloe's lap, her eyes still narrowed like Chloe’s, before getting out her sketchbook and a spindly piece of vine charcoal. Chloe stared down at the sandwich. Was it poisoned? Did she spread toothpaste on the bread instead of peanut butter?

Rachel picked it up and mimed biting into it. To eat! she mouthed, and then handed it to her. Chloe put the sandwich in her bag but decided not to eat it, just in case.

The class grew quiet once everyone was busy sketching. Magda had popped a CD of strange trance-like music in her dusty stereo and promptly fallen asleep in her chair. Chloe glanced up at the clock in the corner. Another hour felt like an impossible feat, especially when she was hyper-aware of all of Rachel’s movements and frustrated sighs.

Chloe finished the sketch and threw her charcoal back in her bag. She flipped the page back and added a raccoon falling asleep at its desk to the squirrel classroom. Once she finished that, she looked up to find Rachel grinning at her.

“You’re really good at drawing.”

“Oh, uh, thanks.” Chloe glanced at Rachel’s sketch—a random assortment of shapes with impossible proportions and improbable shadows. “Umm—"

“Don’t worry, I’m not offended. I suck at it. I’d rather be the subject than the artist,” Rachel said, striking a pose with her hands dramatically splayed around her face. If anyone else said that, it would have sounded braggy and conceited, but Rachel was a popular model for Blackwell’s art classes. “Besides, I have so many other talents.”

“Like what?” Chloe tried to sound as bored and sarcastic as possible. Rachel wasn't fazed. If anything, she smiled wider.

“Like playing hooky.” Rachel closed her sketchbook and slid it back into her bag. “Care to join me?”

“Where are you going?” Chloe asked, even though she was still trying her hardest to seem uninterested. Although she already knew that she would do anything to leave the hot, earth-scented studio.

“That big rock by the lake, the one across from the docks.”

“Why there?” Chloe asked, packing her things away.

Rachel was already shimmying through the open window. She stopped and put two fingers to her lips in the universal gesture for smoking, then pulled her torso the rest of the way through. Chloe was sold.

***

It took them ten minutes to get down to the lake from the studio. Becky was stretched out on the dock, sunbathing in an absurdly small bikini, while another counselor stared adoringly down at her from his perch in the lifeguard chair. With the counselors adequately distracted, they crept along the edge of the lake, staying close to a thatch of reeds.

On the other side of a rocky outcrop, Rachel led her to a long flat stone jutting out over the water. She sat down and let her legs dangle from the edge. Chloe picked a spot an arms-length away and did the same. The sky was a perfect cerulean blue with starch-white clouds, and the lake was still and flat enough to mirror it.

Chloe looked out at the view and tried to estimate how much of their precious little money her mom had spent to send her here. It had to be more than she was worth.

Rachel pulled a glass pipe out of her bag and a small metal grinder.

“How the fuck did you get that in here?” Chloe asked, gaping at her. The school had made a point of checking everyone’s bags, not just hers for once.

“I put it in a box of tampons and hot glued it closed again.” Rachel kicked her legs lazily over the water. “Wells wasn’t about to pop that open in front of my parents.”

Chloe laughed, catching both of them by surprise. Girls like Rachel were supposed to fool one of the guys into risking their necks.

Rachel packed the bowl methodically, little flecks of green sticking to her nails. She pulled a lighter out of her bag and passed it to Chloe, her thumb brushing Chloe’s palm.

“Here, you get the first hit since you’re being such a good little captive.”

“Thank you, ruthless abductor.” Chloe lit the bowl, pulling until it crackled and milky smoke filled the pipe. She cleared it and handed it to Rachel before exhaling slowly. “Damn! This isn’t ditch weed.”

“Better not be, considering what I paid for it.” Rachel took a big hit, holding the smoke in before adding “Sorry. That was such a Vortex thing to say.”

Chloe shrugged. “Nobody can spend that much time with those weirdos and not end up drinking a little of the Kool-Aid.”

“They’re not all terrible.” Rachel picked up a pebble and rolled it off the side of the rock. It hit the water with a satisfying little splash. “V and Nate just make the rest of us look bad.”

“I can’t believe you dated that asshole.”

When Rachel passed the pipe back, her lip balm was smudged over the end. Chloe pressed it to her lips and found that it tasted like marshmallow and beeswax. She thought about what Rachel’s lips looked like around the end of the pipe, how soft and pink they were, and felt the blood rush away from her head.

“I didn’t really date him. We were friends and we just… added a few benefits for a while. I feel bad for the guy. He’s lonelier than people realize.”

Chloe snorted and shook her head.

“We’re all lonely, that’s just high school. He shouldn’t get a free pass to take it out on the rest of us.”

“Are you lonely, Chloe?”

“Yeah.” Chloe was surprised by how easily she answered. There was something about Rachel that threw her off her guard just enough to say more than she intended. “Aren’t you?”

“Of course. Like you said, high school.”

Rachel freed an acorn from a crack in the rock and tossed it into the water. They smoked and listened to birdsong and distant swimmers for a few minutes until Chloe couldn’t stand the quiet.

“I cut my hair,” Chloe said.

“Uh… okay?”

“I cut my hair and Victoria started calling me a lesbian.”

“But her hair is shorter than yours.” Rachel looked confused.

“Exactly. But she has more pull with the Blackwell rumor mill, so everyone believes her.”

“Don’t pay any attention to the shit she says. I think your hair looks cool.” Rachel turned away as if something on the other side of the lake caught her eye. Chloe followed her stare and saw nothing. “And, um, about the other thing… If you are it’s okay—”

“It’s nobody’s business if I am.” Chloe flicked the lighter nervously. “And if I were, I still wouldn’t touch you in your sleep or steal your hair or whatever the fuck.”

The acorn Rachel was holding fell out of her hand and her face dropped with it.

“You heard that?”

“Yeah. Everyone probably did. It was the crack of dawn and you all were shrieking like baboons.”

“Baboons are probably kinder than teenage girls. Listen, Chloe, Victoria doesn’t mean anything she says. She just wants to cause a scene.” Rachel tossed another acorn in the water. “And I was a bitch, too. I shouldn’t have let her nasty comments slide. She’s just hard to…”

“Disobey?”

Rachel looked mildly offended, wrinkling her nose at the word choice. “I was going to say reason with, but I can understand why you might put it that way. Anyway, that’s a shitty excuse. I’m sorry.”

Chloe took her time before answering. It felt good to watch Rachel get a little bit nervous on her account.

“I forgive you. But only because I want more of your drugs.”

“I’ll take it.” Rachel stuck out her hand. “Friends?”

“Hmmm…”

“Colleagues?” Rachel cocked her head and smiled.

“That implies that we work together.”

“Well, that’s the whole point of Camp Cascade, isn’t it? Learning how to work together and build confidence and—"

“Shit, you’re so embarrassing…”

“I refuse to be punished for thoroughly reading the brochure. So…” Rachel waved her hand expectantly.

“Fine!” Chloe shook Rachel’s hand, praying that she didn’t notice how damp it was.

“Good!” Rachel’s smile was radiant.

***

The last activity on Chloe’s schedule for the day was a group hike. Their guide was a 20-something counselor named Thad who had legs like tree trunks. Extremely well-muscled tree trunks. She met the rest of her hiking group at a small bridge just uphill from the docks. She scanned the group for anyone worth talking to and her stomach plunged when her eyes landed on Eliot, who was already looking at her.

He waved and began walking over.

“Uh, Kate!” Chloe hurried over to the familiar dark blonde bun bobbing up ahead.

“Oh! Hi Chloe.” Kate looked surprised and slightly frightened to find Chloe speaking to her. “Can I help you?”

Chloe tried to think of anything they might have in common. The small gold cross around Kate’s neck glinted in the sun.

“You, um, you like god, right?”

“I love him,” Kate said with the barest hint of an edge. Chloe couldn’t blame her for reacting that way. Their classmates had teased Kate for her beliefs since freshman year.

“Cool! Tell me about his whole forgiveness policy. It sounds pretty sweet.”

Kate's face broke into a serene smile and Chloe almost wished she cared about her immortal soul enough to really listen to her. She had her own issues with god or the universe or whatever controlled her shitty life, but Kate’s faith was still somehow commendable.

“Well, I believe that god loves all his children, even if we disappoint him sometimes—”

“Hey, Chloe!” Eliot cut in on Chloe’s left side. “Can we talk?”

“Sorry man, I’m having a pretty major conversation with Kate right now.”

“Do you mind?” Eliot asked Kate briskly.

“Oh, sure.” Kate dropped back further, already making her way over to Alyssa and Warren. “We can talk later, Chloe! Maybe you can drop by prayer circle.”

_Great._

“Thanks, Kate!” Eliot said over his shoulder. His arm was already snaking its way around Chloe’s waist.

“Why are you touching me?” Chloe spat, writhing away from him.

“Whoa! We used to touch all the time, remember?”

“Vaguely.” _Trying to forget_.

“What happened, Chloe?” Eliot dropped his arm. “We had an amazing night together and then—”

“I’m just not interested, dude. I thought I was pretty clear.”

“Is this about your dad?”

If Chloe wasn’t using all of her energy to keep her legs moving uphill, she might have knocked him on his ass right then.

“No.”

“There has to be a reason.”

“No, there doesn’t! I just lost interest.”

“But why?”

Chloe gathered her frustration and used it to propel herself into a jog. The trail was skinny and steep, but she managed to pass the three overachievers who were leading the way. She fell back into a steady walk when she was next to Thad.

“Chloe! I had no idea you were so fit.” Thad gave her a 100-watt smile. “You had me worried with how miserable you looked back there.”

Chloe was too out of breath to speak, so she just gave him a thumbs up and wheezed.

***

Unlike lunch, the cabins had to sit together at an assigned table for dinner. Stella and Alyssa were sitting together on one bench and Rachel and Courtney on the other. Chloe chose the safest option and sat down next to Alyssa.

Chloe jabbed absently at her peas, half-listening to the conversations around her. Her mind was on Max again. If Max were here, she would know exactly what to do to get Eliot to fuck off. But she wasn’t, and Chloe was alone, and Eliot was still watching her from 3 tables away. She stabbed the peas harder.

“You have to put them in your mouth.” Chloe looked up to find Rachel pointing to the peas. “You did such a good job mashing them up--like seriously, kudos--but you still need to put them in your mouth.”

“I don’t want to,” Chloe said. “They’re gross.”

Rachel gave her a look that was probably meant to be intimidating.

“Anyway, Rachel,” Courtney interjected, looking uncertain, “I heard you, like, totally cut class. Pretty badass.”

“It’s summer camp, Court. Nobody cares what you do unless you get knocked up or drown.” Rachel turned back to Chloe. “You need to eat your vegetables, Chloe.”

“Or what?” Chloe snorted. “I won’t grow big and tall? I think I’ll be okay.”

“Or you’ll die,” Rachel said evenly and shoved a spoonful of peas in her mouth.

Courtney looked lost. She was desperately craning her neck, probably looking for Victoria.

“I won’t die.”

“You’ll get scurvy and die,” Rachel said and kicked Chloe’s boot under the table.

Chloe tried not to overthink it. Maybe that was just how Rachel was with people, and why everyone at Blackwell was so charmed by her. She acted familiar from the start so that by the time anyone caught on, they already adored her.

“You’re thinking of oranges,” Chloe said, gently returning Rachel’s kick.

“I am not!” Rachel hooked her foot around Chloe’s ankle and yanked her forward.

“Stop!” Courtney groaned. “You’re shaking the whole table.”

Rachel looked at Chloe and they broke into a fit of laughter.

“Oh my god,” Courtney said, once their laughter subsided, “you’re both so immature.”

And that sent them into hysterics all over again.

***

That night, Chloe stayed awake long after the lights were out. She listened to Stella’s asthmatic wheezing across the room, the whir of Courtney’s noise machine, Alyssa’s muffled music blasting in her headphones, and Rachel snoring lightly above her. She wasn’t used to sharing her space with anyone but her mom and, long ago, Max. It would take a while for her to get used to these people.

“Chloe,” Rachel whispered suddenly from the top bunk. “Are you awake?”

“Yeah,” she whispered back.

“I hope the bunk doesn’t collapse and kill you in our sleep.”

“Yeah,” Chloe agreed. “That would suck.”

“I can’t stop imagining it.”

“If I notice the bed starting to fall, I’ll roll to safety and then rescue you, okay?”

“Okay, thank you. Goodnight Chloe.”

“Goodnight Rachel,” Chloe said, and since nobody could see her, she smiled bigger than she had all summer.


	3. Chapter 3

Joyce called to check in the second week of camp, right in the middle of dinner.

“Here,” Chloe said, pushing her untouched bowl of glazed carrots to Rachel, who inexplicably loved them. “I’ll be right back.”

The phone vibrated in Chloe’s hand and she ran with it into the hall as if it were a grenade. She spotted an alcove near the bulletin board and tucked herself out of view from the rest of the mess hall. Chloe answered and was assaulted by the familiar sounds of the diner whirling around in the background.

“Hi mom.”

“Hey, Chloe. How’s camp?”

Joyce sounded, for the first time in months, completely relaxed. Chloe could hear her smiling when she spoke.

“It’s… it’s fine.”

“Good! I thought you might grow to like it if you gave it time.”

Chloe glanced back to the table. Nathan had taken her spot across from Rachel and was laughing at something she said. “I didn’t say I liked it. It’s just not as bad as I expected. I’d still prefer solitary confinement or waterboarding if I had the choice.”

“Unfortunately, the county jail doesn’t have a summer program, but maybe next year.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“By the way, did you send Max a letter recently?”

She felt like she was plunged headfirst into a bucket of ice water.

“Yeah, why?”

“The post office returned it. Apparently, you wrote the street name wrong. Do you want me to fix it and resend it?”

Chloe squeezed her eyes closed and rubbed her forehead. Maybe it was just fate at this point, and who was she to interfere with the cosmic forces keeping them apart?

“No. No thank you. Listen, can I call you later? I’m sort of in the middle of something.”

“Oh, sure,” Joyce said, sounding surprised. “You go have fun! I love you.”

“Love you.”

Chloe walked back to the table and picked up her jacket. She turned to Rachel, ignoring Nathan’s glare.

“How did it go?” Rachel asked.

“Not bad. I’m going to bed.”

“It’s barely even dark out,” Rachel protested. “Stay. You can watch me kick Nathan’s ass at cards.”

Nathan scoffed.

“Another time. Night, Rach.”

Rachel still looked curious but she shrugged and relented. “Night, Chlo.”

As Chloe walked away, she heard Nathan laugh and say, “You’re already giving each other nicknames, _Rach_?” 

“We gave everyone a nickname.” Rachel’s voice sounded relaxed. “Maybe if you beat me, I’ll tell you what yours is. I guarantee you’re not going to like it.”

***

The next morning, Chloe’s alarm went off at 5, causing a groggy uproar from the other girls. She dressed blindly in her bunk, wincing every time her bare skin touched the cold metal bedframe. The bed above her groaned as Rachel’s head appeared over the edge.

“Where are you going?” Rachel whispered loud enough that she might as well have been talking normally.

“Fishing, remember?”

“The sun isn’t even up.”

Chloe finished zipping her jeans and leaned up to Rachel’s ear. She moved the curtain of hair to the side and whispered, “Go back to sleep.”

She made the long walk to the showers in the dark, and by the time she walked back out, the sun was just below the horizon. She jogged the rest of the way to the docks, not wanting to miss the sunrise. Becky was waiting in front of the boathouse, smiling at the dull, tired faces of the campers with the well-rested joy that only morning people seem to possess.

“You’re the instructor?” Chloe blurted out.

“I sure am!” Becky said, tossing a life jacket to her. “I love being out on the water first thing in the morning.”

“Is this everyone?” Chloe turned to see Kate emerging from the woods. Kate noticed her looking and waved amicably.

“Yeah,” Becky said. “People tend to be turned off by how early it is. Oh, well! It’s better this way. Fewer people to spook the fish.”

Becky led them to the shore beyond the docks where four rowboats were beached and waiting for them. They paired off—Chloe was pleasantly surprised when Kate grabbed her hand and led her to one of the boats—and were each given a rod and a net.

Becky gave them quick instructions showing them how to flip the bail and how to reel in a fish without breaking the line. Chloe zoned out through most of it, hoping what she remembered from fishing with her dad would kick in as a sort of muscle memory. She focused instead on the sun blooming from between the mountains, the sky turning a violent shade of peach.

She found herself picturing Rachel’s hair in this light, glowing like molten gold. She thought about how it smelled earlier when it was spilling over her face from above, and the weight of it in her hand when she moved it.

“Chloe, did you hear her?” Kate asked, looking up at her.

“Hmm?”

“We’re getting in the boats now.” Kate looked like a kid in her life jacket and her oversized sweatshirt.

“Oh, right. Here.” Chloe instinctively held out her arm and Kate grabbed it as she clambered in.

Once Kate was settled, Chloe pushed the boat into the water. Water spilled over the top of her boots as she stomped through the water, soaking her jeans when she jumped into the boat. She sat on the bench at the front and fit the oars into the oarlocks. It took more muscle than she expected, but eventually she managed to get them dislodged from the muddy shallows.

“So, you’re familiar with boats then?” Kate asked nervously.

Chloe dipped an oar and spun them away from the docks and out into the open lake. “I guess.”

“I’m a little bit nervous about the water,” Kate admitted.

“Why sign up for fishing then?”

“If you catch the biggest fish, you get a star. Five stars from five different activities gives you the chance to opt out of playing survival.”

“Stars?”

“Those little stickers they give you when you do really well in an activity?”

Chloe remembered getting one from Magda for one of her sketches. She didn’t think it had a use, other than being something she could lord over Rachel.

“Right… and what’s survival?”

“Didn’t you read the brochure?”

“No, why would—"

“Okay, does everyone have their handouts?” Becky shouted from the rowboat she shared with a very nervous looking boy. Kate lifted a laminated paper that Chloe hadn’t noticed before. “Remember, anything smaller than the minimum must go back in the water! I’ll be checking your buckets.”

Becky led them out into the open water where they all dispersed, making sure to stay within her line of sight. Chloe’s shoulders and abs began to ache from the effort of rowing, so she stopped them near a crop of sunken trees and let her arms rest.

“Will you hand me my fishing pole?” Kate looked petrified, glued to her seat, afraid of any movement that might rock the boat.

Chloe handed her the pole and made sure to duck when Kate drew it back over her shoulder, fearing a hook to the eye. Kate cast her line almost flawlessly, the silver lure flashing in the light before sinking a few yards off.

“That wasn’t half bad, Kate!” Chloe said, hoping that she wouldn’t be offended by the surprise in her voice. Kate smiled at the praise and shrugged humbly.

They both sat in silence watching Kate’s bobber slowly move with the tiny waves. Chloe thought about picking up her rod but decided against it. Her shoulders were aching fiercely. Fishing had seemed like a good way to distract her from the things weighing on her mind, but now, quiet and undistracted, her mind wouldn’t stop circling back to Max and the letter that she didn’t receive.

“Kate, do you believe in fate?”

“I believe that god has a plan for each of us.”

“Well no offense, but his plan for me fucking sucks.”

“Chloe, I know you don’t really want to join prayer group,” Kate said, smiling softly, “but if you ever need someone to listen, I’m here. And we don’t have to talk about god.”

“Thanks, Kate.”

They drifted back into an easy silence. Suddenly, the tip of Kate’s fishing rod jerked. Kate gasped and nearly dropped it in the lake but managed to hold on.

“Chloe!” Kate gaped at her, holding the rod as far from her body as she could. “What do I do?”

“Reel it in,” Chloe said, hoping that if she was still and quiet, Kate would be able to do it on her own.

“I’m trying!”

Kate’s fishing rod was jerking wildly now and bending at a terrible angle.

“Slowly, Kate! Raise the rod, then reel it on the down motion, remember?”

“No, I don’t remember!” Kate’s eyes were wild.

“You’re doing a good job, don’t panic!”

“It’s too heavy!” Kate said, and the rod dipped violently again.

Chloe tried to remember what her dad had taught her, but their last fishing trip felt like eons ago.

“Don’t fight it. Let it tire itself out!” Kate stopped reeling and relaxed slightly. They watched the line cut abstract patterns in the water. “Okay, now go slow.”

Chloe grabbed the net from under her seat and made her way to Kate, the rowboat rocking with her footfalls. The fish was right next to the boat, its green-gold back glinting as it broke through the surface of the water and then slipped below again.

Chloe plunged the net into the water and scooped the fish up. Its tail slapped the water and splashed water up her sleeves and down her shirt. “This is a damn big fish, Kate!” Chloe hauled it into the boat where it flopped between them.

“I can’t believe I did it,” Kate said, sounding both exhilarated and scared. “I caught a fish. A big one.”

“A massive one!” Chloe filled the bucket with water and then picked up the fish. It gaped at her and struggled in her hands as she carefully removed the hook from its mouth. “I bet it’s been in this lake for a long time. Here, hold it for a picture.”

Chloe passed the fish to Kate, careful to keep it from thrashing out of her hands. Kate marveled at it while Chloe dug her phone out of her pocket.

“It’s so colorful in the sun,” Kate said. The fish wriggled as she smiled for her photo. “And so strong.”

She placed it in the bucket the way a child might put a doll in a crib. Chloe picked up the oars and started heading back to the docks, the excitement having eased some of the soreness from her shoulders. 

“What now?” Kate asked.

Chloe put the oars down and picked up the handout. “We do this,” she said, pointing to the diagram labeled _How to Gut a Fish_.

“Oh, right.” Kate stopped smiling. “Do you think he’ll feel it when we…”

“Oh, it’s a _he_ now?”

“Do you think he’s scared?” Kates eyes were wide and she looked seasick.

Chloe shrugged and tried to think of anything helpful to say.

“Kate, it’s fine. He’s probably had a good, long life and had, like, a gazillion babies. I’ll be fast and you don’t have to watch.”

The boat nudged up against the bank. Chloe got out--water splashing over her pants again—and pulled the boat out of the water. The other campers were already lined up on the dock, waiting to present their catches to Becky.

Kate picked up the bucket and held it close.

“Girls!” Becky called out, waving a yard stick at them. “Any luck? Let me see!”

Chloe followed Kate—who looked like she might vomit at any moment—up the steps, and saw her knuckles turning from pink to white as she gripped the handle of the bucket. Kate held out her arms so Becky could peer into the bucket. Her expression flashed from curiosity to delight.

“Oh, Kate! That’s a gold star worthy perch!” Becky produced a sticker and slid it into Kate’s pocket. “It’s gonna make a great lunch. Wait, wha—”

Kate suddenly shoved past Becky and ran for the end of the dock, stumbling over one of the metal cleats but managing to keep the bucket upright. She stopped short of the water and dumped the bucket, and the fish, into the lake.

“Hurry,” she said to it frantically, as it disappeared with a flash of its yellow tail.

“Kate, you could have just told me that you wanted to release it,” Becky said, rubbing her shoulder where Kate shoved her.

“I’m sorry.” Kate was panting, and the front of her sweatshirt was drenched. “I’m so sorry, I just couldn’t stop thinking about how scared he must be, and then Chloe brought up his family—”

“His family?” Becky gave her a skeptical look. Chloe shrugged.

“The gazillion babies,” Kate said.

“Oh… yeah.”

“Well,” Becky said, rolling her shoulders back and straightening her ponytail, “no worries! Now he can go make a gazillion more.” Then she turned around and mumbled something about over-population that Chloe didn’t quite catch.

***

“Hey,” Rachel whispered, lolling her head over the side of the top bunk so that she was looking at Chloe upside down.

“Uh, yeah?”

“Are you as bored as I am?”

“Definitely.” Chloe dog-eared her book and set it down on the night-stand, already anticipating Rachel’s offer. “Why?

“Because it sucks in here. Let’s go somewhere.”

Rachel pushed herself off the top bunk, socked feet hitting the floor with a dull thud.

“I don’t know…”

“Come on, Price. A walk would do us both good.”

Chloe hesitated. It was Friday which meant the counselors would be up late in the lodge playing music and drinking. Getting caught hadn’t seemed like such a big deal last week, but now the prospect of spending the summer in Arcadia without Rachel was too bleak to brush off.

“Here.” Rachel kneeled down and grabbed one of Chloe’s boots. She shook it out carefully—something they all started doing after Stella got pinched by an unusually aggressive beetle—and then attempted to jam it on over Chloe’s thick wool sock.

“Fine,” Chloe sighed and pulled the boot out of Rachel’s grasp. “Give it.”

Rachel handed her the boot and breathed down her neck while she laced it.

“Hurry up!”

Once her boots were on, Rachel darted out the door ahead of her. Chloe took one last look around the cabin--Stella and Alyssa were poring over a jigsaw puzzle and Courtney was still out, visiting Victoria over in Juniper—and stepped over the threshold.

They crept past the counselor cabins and the lodge with no problem and raced the rest of the way to the boathouse. Chloe let Rachel take the lead as they ran down the hill even though they both knew she could have easily overtaken her. It felt good just to run, to have every footfall absorbed by soft dirt and pine needles and use her muscles for something other than hiking or swimming or carrying firewood.

“My lungs!” Chloe gasped when they finally got to the docks.

“The cigarettes,” Rachel managed to get out between breaths, “they don’t help.”

They sat on the edge of the dock for a moment trying to catch their breath, the crickets and the gentle lapping of water on the shore drowning out everything else.

“Kate caught a big fish today. Like the biggest fish out of everyone, and then she just”—Chloe mimed her toss—"threw it back.”

“She’s a sweet girl,” Rachel said, “and I’m only a tiny bit jealous.”

“Of what?”

“You sound impressed.”

“Oh, do I?”

“You do, and I know that you’re hard to impress.” Rachel smiled and pointed at the sky. “The stars are so bright here.”

Chloe stared up at them, losing herself in their endless winking and flashing until she heard the metallic flick of Rachel’s lighter and the low crackle that followed.

“Want some?” Rachel asked, holding up a joint. “Sunset Sherbet. Good stuff.”

“How do you have so much weed?” Chloe asked, rocking up onto her elbows. “You should save it.”

“I won this off Nate in that card game.” Rachel turned to look at her. “Don’t worry, I’m rationing my own supply. And I’m only sharing with you.”

Chloe took the joint, touching Rachel’s fingers more than the motion really required, and felt herself relax. It already felt so natural with Rachel, as if sneaking out to smoke was their routine for years.

“Are we friends?” Chloe asked suddenly.

“What?” Rachel searched her face to see if she was serious. “What do you mean?”

“Are we friends yet? Or do I have to do some weird crazy ritual?”

“Of course, we’re friends. You really can’t tell?”

“I’m just making sure.”

“I guess I can’t blame you,” Rachel said cheerlessly.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not great at letting people know me.”

Chloe laughed. “People who don’t even go to Blackwell know you.”

“They know what I want them to.” Rachel sat up and stretched her legs across Chloe’s lap. “Anyway, I was worried you wouldn’t want to be my friend either.”

“Why is that?”

“You seemed really closed off. Like you were above the rest of us.”

“I don’t mean to be like that, I just… I don’t really have any friends at Blackwell, I guess.” Chloe considered telling her about Max, but the wound was still raw. Despite all of their bonding over shared contraband, she still didn’t fully trust Rachel. “I just try to keep my head down and make it to graduation.”

“What about Eliot? Didn’t you guys hang out a lot last year?”

Chloe was surprised Rachel had even noticed.

“We’re not friends _,_ ” Chloe said, poking Rachel’s leg playfully. “We hooked up once, and it was a huge mistake. Like an _I-wish-I-could-bleach-my-brain-and-forget-all-about-it_ mistake.”

“That bad, huh?” Rachel clicked her tongue.

“Could have been worse,” Chloe said, trying to sound blasé. “Could have been Nathan.”

Rachel laughed and punched her shoulder. “Ew! Please don’t remind me.”

“Sorry, I just can’t believe that someone like you would touch him with a ten-foot pole.”

“Like me?” Rachel cocked her head to the side.

“You know, like you’re so cool and… pretty…” Chloe’s throat suddenly felt especially dry.

Rachel grabbed her wrist.

“You think I’m pretty?”

Chloe tried to slow her pulse, which she was sure Rachel could feel getting quicker in her grasp.

“Everyone thinks you’re pretty.”

Rachel grinned. “But I’m not asking about everyone. I’m asking about you.”

Chloe chewed her lip and tried to think about trigonometry or kittens or Eliot. Anything to slow the hammering of her heart.

“Yeah. You’re very pretty.”

“Thank you,” Rachel said and kissed her hand like a gentleman in an old movie. “So are you. Now help me smoke this.”

They smoked and watched the stars and talked quietly until the sky slid from purple to blue.


	4. Chapter 4

“We need to find a new smoke spot,” Rachel said one balmy Friday afternoon, as they left the art room. “The boys have been using our usual place and I found _magazines_ stashed there.”

“What kind of magazines?” Chloe asked, bumping Rachel with her hip. She’d gotten another gold star from Magda and, as lame as it was, she felt energized by her success.

Rachel bumped her back, and then kept her hip there, lolling her head dramatically onto Chloe’s shoulder. “The kind with the pages all stuck together.”

“Ugh! Rachel, gross!”

“What?” Rachel laughed wickedly. “I didn’t do it, I just found them. I’m the victim here. Anyway, our new spot has to be top-secret. No boys allowed.”

“Should it have _top-secret_ poison oak like the last place?”

“Oh, come on. It wasn’t _that_ bad.”

“It wasn’t?” Chloe pointed to the crop of blisters on Rachel’s calf. Chloe had a matching rash on her right arm. They were flat and fading now, but both of them had looked like lepers for a good two weeks.

“Fine, I fucked up.” Rachel dragged a finger over Chloe’s mottled, almost-healed skin. “If it scars, we can just cover them with tattoos.”

Rachel stopped abruptly in front of the lodge and Chloe almost tripped over her. Chloe’s least favorite counselor was heading straight for them. Craig was the volleyball instructor, the guitar teacher, a lifeguard, and the newest fixation of nearly every girl in the camp. Every morning his name bounced off the bathroom walls, passed back and forth between the girls like a never-ending game of verbal ping-pong. 

“Hey Craig,” Rachel said. It sounded like she was speaking in bubble letters. “I’ve been working on my float serve.”

“Cool,” he said smiling at her. He rubbed the back of his neck, flexing his bicep in a way that wasn’t subtle. “How’s your leg?”

“A little better!” Rachel lifted the hem of her already dangerously short shorts to reveal the top of the bruise on her thigh. Chloe rolled her eyes. “See?”

“That’s a gnarly bruise. Make sure you keep icing that.” His eyes lingered on her thigh and traveled up, slowing when they reached the swell of Rachel’s chest. “You coming to the party on Saturday?”

“Maybe.” Rachel shrugged. “It sounds kind of lame.”

“Less lame if I’m there though?” He bit his lip and gave Rachel a look that made Chloe want to punch him.

“I guess we’ll have to see,” Rachel said. She waved over her shoulder as she grabbed Chloe’s wrist and lead her up the road.

Chloe didn’t say much on the walk back to the cabin. She half-listened to Rachel talking about the party and who might be there and whether or not there would be enough alcohol. It was hard to care about any of that. She couldn’t keep her mind from lingering on Craig and the way Rachel had looked at him, that flustered but hopeful smile, and the way she played with the ends of her hair.

Chloe spent most of her days swept up in Rachel’s orbit. They brushed their teeth together, ate meals together, and explored the camp together almost every afternoon. The memories Chloe used to ruminate on—the painful ones involving Max or her dad—faded to sepia.

Now that she had Rachel’s attention, she didn’t want to share it. Especially not with Craig.

“—and now I’m thinking that my light green halter top is the best option… Chloe, are you even listening?” Rachel touched her shoulder and Chloe turned to look at her.

“Yeah, I’m just… distracted I guess,” Chloe said.

“What are you thinking about?” Asked Rachel. “Is it Craig?”

Chloe wrinkled her nose. “No way.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “Oh god, please tell me we’re not about to do that thing where we crush over the same guy and then get all bitchy and competitive. Just so you know, Victoria’s also been drooling over him every class, so I hope you’re ready to deal with—"

“What the hell makes you think I like that guy?”

“Whoa, easy tiger. You got all weird and quiet when he came over.” Rachel yanked the cabin door open and Chloe was relieved to find that they were alone. “There was like, _crazy_ tension.”

“Yeah, because he’s a creep,” Chloe said sharply. “You’re seriously into that guy?”

“Chloe, he’s objectively super-hot.” Rachel looked at her with a mix of curiosity and apprehension. “Unless he’s… not your type?”

“W-what?” Chloe stammered.

Rachel’s phone rang, the theme from Jaws pulsing through the room.

“Dad’s calling,” Rachel said, deflating before Chloe’s eyes.

She always looked blank, far off, when she talked about James. Chloe got the impression that he wasn’t exactly the warm and fuzzy type.

She looked at the caller ID for a second, her thumb hovering over the answer button, and then she threw her phone onto Chloe’s bed with a growl.

“It’s not like he really wants to talk, you know? It’s a maintenance call. Keeping up appearances for my mom.” Rachel rubbed at her arms. “I swear, he only sent me here so I wouldn’t...” Rachel hesitated, her eyes narrowing. “He just wanted me out of the way.”

“I’m sorry, Rach. It’s his loss though.”

“Is it?” Rachel grabbed her box of tampons and pulled out the pipe hidden there. “Anyway, I wish he’d stop calling completely. Why pretend, right?”

They smoked until Rachel seemed comfortably numb and Chloe’s body felt like a pile of loose string.

***

Chloe joined her fellow hikers halfway up the mile-long driveway. Her comfortable high was taking a hard left. Maybe it was the paranoia setting in, but everyone seemed agitated. Eliot kept looking at her over his shoulder, running his hand through his hair anxiously.

Thad was waiting near a low brick wall. On the right, a path opened up between the trees. It was dappled with sunlight and skirted by blackberry bushes draped with unripe fruit. On the left, there was a thin scraggly line of pale dirt weaving up the bank before being swallowed by the underbrush.

“Alright, today we’re going to hike over to the public docks.” Thad thrust his fist in the air like he was expecting them to cheer at that.

“We’re going to see real people?” Alyssa asked looking down at her outfit. All of them had taken to wearing their worst clothes for hiking. Chloe looked down at her jeans, already spattered with mud from the walk up the driveway.

“We sure are!” Thad gave them all his classic Ken doll smile.

Chloe was beginning to wonder if Thad was perpetually coked up. Nobody could be that enthusiastic about taking a bunch of whiney teens into the woods every day.

“What’s up that way?” Chloe asked, pointing to the path on the left.

“Oh, that path used to be a dirt road, way back before the highway existed. It went from the public docks all the way up to the resort. By the time the camp bought this land, the old road was already overgrown. It’s a shame, there was this great view of the lake…” Thad noticed a few of them, Chloe included, listening intently. “It’s completely eroded though, there’s barely a path there at all now. Very dangerous. One hundred percent _off-limits_.”

It was too late though; Chloe’s decision was made. What was more top-secret than off-limits?

Thad led them down the path to the docks, telling the group closest to him about the history of the camp. Kate, who was up near the front, caught Chloe’s eye and waved. Chloe smiled and waved back but she didn’t make an effort to catch up. She was already thinking about the best way to tackle the eroded trail. 

“Hey, Chloe!” Eliot slowed so they were walking at the same pace.

“Can we not do this?”

“I just wanted to check in with you. I’m not going to bother you.” He held his hands up in surrender. “I swear.”

“Right.”

“Chloe, please. We used to be friends, right?” Chloe considered this. Eliot _was_ her friend once. The only reason he’d ever been more was because she had been afraid to lose the one person who seemed to be able to stand her. “I just want to talk. I won’t ask about what I did to make you change your mind or—"

“Eliot! Fuck, dude. You didn’t _do_ anything, okay? I’m just… It’s complicated.”

“I’m worried about you Chloe.” Eliot was walking slowly and the class was now so far ahead, Chloe could barely make out Thad’s dayglo windbreaker through the trees. “I’m glad you’re making some friends. Kate, for example. She seems like a good influence. But others…”

“Meaning Rachel?” It was weird, everyone liked Rachel, especially the guys. All of them but him. “Also ‘good influence’? Who are you, my mom?”

“I’m someone who cares. I’ve heard some things about Rachel…”

Chloe started walking faster and Eliot stumbled along trying to keep up. “People love to talk shit. Haven’t you heard any of the rumors about me?”

“You two have been smoking and cutting class—”

“I would have done that without her,” Chloe laughed.

Eliot’s fists balled up, white-knuckled at his side. He was trying so hard to find something, anything to convince her.

“—and she’s… promiscuous.”

“Ha!”

“Seriously Chloe, she’s bad news. You’re too smart to hang around with girls like that.” Eliot tried slowing down, he watched to see if she would slow to his pace but she wouldn’t. Thad’s jacket was just visible up ahead and Chloe wasn’t going to stop until she reached it. Eliot tossed his hands and jogged to catch up.

“Is there anything I can say or do to make you leave me the fuck alone?” Chloe asked through gritted teeth.

“You can tell me why you left. Why you never called, or texted, or came to the door when I stopped by.” Eliot’s cheeks were flush, whether from embarrassment or exertion, Chloe couldn’t tell. “You were my first. I lost my virginity with you and you just disappeared after.”

Chloe stopped walking and so did Eliot, his torso folding over as he caught his breath.

“I hated it, okay? I hated every second of it. It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t something you did or didn’t do, it just wasn’t right for me. I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression but I don’t want to be with you. I will _never_ want to be with you.”

Eliot was quiet for a moment, hands on his waist, still breathing hard through his nose. He was taking it better than Chloe expected.

“You don’t want to be with me.” He said it as though he was mulling it over, deciding if it sounded plausible.

“No.”

“Because you want to be with Rachel.”

Chloe flinched and he reached out to steady her.

“Fuck you,” she said quietly, shrugging out of his grasp.

She took off at a run, leaving Eliot to cough over the kicked-up pine needles and dust.

***

Chloe walked slowly back to Goldenrod after the hike, her muscles aching and her mind heavy.

The cabin was empty except for Rachel who was sitting in a chair by the stereo, looking out the window. Linda Ronstadt was crooning her cover of Hurt So Bad at top volume. The door slapped shut behind Chloe and Rachel turned to look at her. Her face was a ruin, her eyes red and her mascara smudged halfway down her cheeks.

“What happened?” Chloe asked, rushing over. Rachel sat limply and let Chloe clean her face with her sleeve.

“My dad called back.” Rachel’s face was hot even through Chloe’s sleeve, flush with tears and anger. “I can’t fucking stand him, Chloe.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know.” Rachel stood up and switched off the stereo. “I can’t be here right now.”

“Okay,” Chloe brushed Rachel’s shoulder cautiously, half expecting her to pull away. “Let’s go get some air.”

Rachel nodded once, grabbed a flannel and followed Chloe out the door.

Chloe led her up the driveway in silence. Rachel was sniffling and rubbing at her face, trying to compose herself. Her rage and hurt was palpable, so thick in the space around them that Chloe could feel it on her skin. They turned left, onto the old path by the stone wall.

The path was as poorly maintained as Thad said. Occasionally it would disappear altogether, forcing them to walk a few meters in different directions until one of them found it again. After 30 minutes they were deep enough in the woods that they could no longer see or hear the camp and only rarely caught glimpses of the lake between the trees.

“Maybe we should turn back,” Chloe said, grimacing as thorns traced more red lines into her arm. “This isn’t even a real path.”

Rachel—who was considerably calmer but still seemed a bit raw and fierce from earlier—was scrambling up the steep path ahead, showering Chloe with dirt every time she lost her footing.

“Don’t you want to be a trailblazer, Chlo?” Rachel had a forced grin and a hard look in her eyes. Chloe knew she wouldn’t stop until they reached the top, wherever that may be.

“Not really. Wait, are you wearing my shirt?”

Rachel turned around and put her hand on her hip. “You said I could borrow it if I got cold.”

Chloe finally understood why boys were so inclined to let shivering girls borrow their sweatshirts. It felt good to see Rachel in her clothes, like they were sharing something more intimate than fabric.

“Yeah, you can... It looks better on you anyway.”

“Thanks, I want to look good when I die of exposure.”

They made slow progress on the hill. Dirt spilled out from under them with every step and the closer they go to the top, the worse it was. Chloe had to haul herself up using tree roots a few times and Rachel slid down a patch of rock, skinning both her knees. When they finally reached the top, Chloe was too exhausted to give a shit about the view.

In the middle of the clearing, there was an old foundation covered in a thick layer of detritus and moss. The few stone walls still standing, were mottled with blue-green lichen and crawling with insects. The ground was littered with shattered glass, a few green and brown bottles, a flash of aluminum, a partially decomposed hat.

“Maybe this place isn’t so secret,” Rachel said, tracing stone-carved initials with her finger.

“I don’t know, all of this stuff seems old.” 

Rachel sat at the edge of the foundation and Chloe settled down next to her.

“It’s beautiful,” Rachel said.

From up here, the lake was a quilt of blacks, blues, and greys, scattered with a rainbow of sailboats. Chloe could just make out the camp docks and the little fleet of rowboats. A curl of white smoke floated up through the trees carrying the scent of cooking hamburgers and hotdogs, juices dripping onto hot coals.

Chloe was thinking about dinner when Rachel spoke again.

“I wish I was more like you.”

Chloe snorted. “Well, you shouldn’t.”

“You don’t take anyone’s shit,” Rachel said. “You don’t play their stupid games or fake any of it.”

“You don’t have to fake it either. Not with me anyway.” Chloe’s cheeks burned but Rachel’s eyes were fixed on the horizon so it didn’t matter.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Rachel asked. “Something that nobody else knows.”

“Of course,” Chloe said.

Rachel sighed, burying her face in her hands. When she lifted her head, she had a look Chloe couldn’t place. It was Rachel like she’d never seen her. Soft, vulnerable, even more than she was earlier with all the tears and stereo-fueled melodrama.

“The woman who raised me, the one who I’ve called mom since I could speak, isn’t even related to me.”

“What? Like you’re adopted?”

“No, like my birth mom chose drugs over me and left my dad to pick up the pieces. Then Rose came along and decided to play house with him and some other woman’s spawn. That’s the way he tells it anyway.”

“Holy shit,” Chloe said. That piece of information would be front-page news for the local paper if it got out. Mr. Amber’s fancy-ass job might even be in jeopardy. “He told you that on the phone just now?”

“No.” Rachel laughed bitterly. “He’s not _that_ fucked up. I found out about her right before I left for camp. She told him she was clean and that she wanted to see me again. He was just calling to tell me that he isn’t going to let me see her. He doesn’t think she’s stable or a good influence or whatever.”

Chloe struggled to find words. “That’s—I mean… _fuck._ ”

“Yeah.” Rachel sat up and rubbed her face. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have just dumped that on you.”

“It’s fine, I’m just… Do you still want to see her? Even if she’s… struggling.”

Rachel shrugged. “I mean, yeah. I was secretly planning to meet her this summer but then, big surprise, I got shipped off to camp.”

“That’s fucked up,” Chloe said. “Your dad is fucked up. He had to know that you’d want to see her once he told you.”

“He didn’t really have a choice in telling me. I saw him meet up with her in the park. He tried to lie but I can smell his particular brand of bullshit a mile away, even if nobody else can.” Rachel sat up and brushed the dirt off of her pants. She looked serene, like the weight of her secret was bearable now that Chloe carried it too. “Honestly, I should have known that I wasn’t half-Italian. Rose tried to teach me her recipes a hundred times, but I can hardly boil water.”

“I get why you’re so mad at him now. Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m always fine.” Rachel held out her hand and Chloe grabbed it before sliding off the slab of foundation. “I think I just needed someone to listen.” She held Chloe’s hand for a beat too long before dropping it and looking away. “So, what about you? Any deep dark secrets hidden away that you want to share with me?”

Chloe only had one secret and didn’t she owe it to Rachel now? Isn’t that how it worked with best friends? An equal exchange.

“I, uh… I have this friend—had this friend—and there were some, uh, complicated feelings—"

Rachel perked up. “You were in love?”

“I mean, I think so… anyway it doesn’t matter now.” Chloe started back down the eroded hill, keeping to the edges of the path where the footing was better.

“Why?” Rachel asked from somewhere behind her. It was so much easier to say this when she couldn’t see what Rachel’s face was doing.

“She left and I’m never going to see her again.”

Rachel’s footsteps stopped for a second and Chloe felt a rush of adrenaline that nearly knocked her straight down the hill.

“ _She_?”

“Yeah.”

Rachel’s footsteps resumed.

“So, does that mean you’re—”

Chloe rounded on Rachel and nearly bumped straight into her.

“It means all your stupid shitty friends are right about me. If you don’t want to hang out anymore because of that—"

“Stop,” Rachel said, grabbing Chloe’s hand. “I would never judge you for that Chloe.”

Chloe squeezed Rachel’s hand and then let it go. “Good, and I won’t judge you for being fake-Italian.”

Rachel laughed and Chloe felt lighter.

“Can we go to the mess hall? I’m going to start eating random berries off of bushes in a few minutes.”

“Please don’t.”

Chloe couldn’t believe how normal it all was. Rachel was laughing and jumping on her back and twining their arms together on the way back to camp. There was no awkwardness, no heaviness between them, now that she knew the truth about Chloe. It was just the two of them, close as ever, and the entire golden summer stretching out before them.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my wonderful beta sad_magical_girl without whom, this would be a grammatical disaster!


End file.
